The decline and fall of William Gallas, ex-Arsenal captain. Photographs: Lee Mills/Action Images (whose entire portfolio seems to show Gallas in distress).
3pm: Peeps ring out across the country and We. Are. Go.
2.50pm: It’s a shambles. Again. We just had a power failure here on two computers and a telly, which means Paolo Bandini is having [...]

The four faces of contemporary male modelling: Derek Zoolander (pose: Blue Steel), Tom Lutz (???), Scott Murray (???) and Carlos Tevez (WTF?). Photographs: Melinda Sue Gordon/Christian Sinibaldi/Sam Frost/Tom Jenkins
Some links
• Some footage the two Serbian wunderfoetii apparently set to join Manchester United
• Highlights of a classic encounter between these sides in 1994, infused with genuine [...]

Will it be an eff, or will it be a cee? Photograph: Craig Brough/AFP/Getty Images
Preamble Hello. Competitions are like Y-fronts: the tighter they are, the better they usually look. But even the most rabid Stone Islander would struggle to legitimately argue that the tight squeeze in the lower half of the Premiership - where just [...]

Crude stereotypes ahoy. Photograph: Jeff Haynes/Reuters
2.54pm BST Rose finds the rough from the eighth tee, but it’s a gentle kind of rough and Poulter won’t sweat it too much. These guys look like they want to be home and hosed by the 12th or 13th.
Jimenez is unlucky there, a fine sweeping putt around [...]

Steve Harmison with a cap, yesterday. Photograph: Matthew Childs/Action Images
3pm To recap, it’s raining, it’s pouring, Rob Smyth’s snoring, and there’s unlikely to be any play for the next hour. I’m off to write a Fiver but will keep you abreast of the weather, drop-by-drop.
Riffs, while u wait Anyone got any riffs to pass the [...]

Jonathan Woodgate scores past Petr Cech in the Carling Cup final. Photograph: Glyn Kirk/AFP/Getty Images
69 min: Malouda receives the ball on the left and as he’s about to try to take on Jenas (who’s at right-back rather than Zokora), Huddlestone lumbers across and fouls him. Deco wastes the free-kick.
68 min: Lampard is being [...]

Alastair Cook: time for a career-defining innings? No, no apparently not. Photograph: Scott Heavey/Action Images
66th over: England 156-6 (Ambrose 1 Flintoff 2)Kallis takes a spell and Steyn is on. “Only Flintoff’s beard stands between South Africa and victory now” comments Keith Flett, lost somewhere in world of his own. A maiden, Flintoff picking out [...]

Will Ireland’s Padraig Harrington get to drink from the Claret Jug for another year. Photograph: Gerry Penny/EPA
3pm: Number of minutes spent doing this online commentary: 60. Number of emails received in that hour: 0. It’s almost as if people are watching it on television. How quaint.
2.55pm: English amateur Chris Wood (+9) sends a [...]

This morning’s leaders - KJ Choi and Greg Norman. Photographs: Gerry Penny & John Walton/EPA/PA
2.54pm: Staying with the leaders, Choi finds the bunker but sets himself up for par by brilliantly chipping close. Meanwhile, Norman thrashes out of the thick stuff and then smashes a ball to the right face of the green. He two [...]

Ducks: nice weather for them. Photograph: Theo Heimann/AFP/Getty Images
2.57pm: America’s Anthony Kim has birdied the third, so he’s the sole leader as it stands. Who he? He’s the man who’s won two of the last five tournaments he’s played, that’s who he is. He’s the man who’s fifth in the PGA money stakes this season, [...]